The Company Man, part 7

After what seemed an eternity, the stack dwindled and finally disappeared. A much more disheveled stack sat next to Henry, and his wrist hurt from signing his name so much and so quickly. Lenny frowned at the stack, but scooped it all up and walked out of the room. As he did so, he nodded to another man that had been waiting for them to finish. He walked in and did not introduce himself.

For the next hour, the stern looking man informed Henry about the sensitive nature of the project. About the risks of corporate espionage and the need to remain ever vigilant. The company was going ‘all in’ on this project, and a single slip up could spell ruin for everyone. That was why it was so vital for him to not tell anyone about what he was doing. Henry wasn’t worried about that, he still had no idea.

The lecture lasted a full thirty minutes, though really it was a ten minute lecture told three times in three different ways. But Henry maintained an attentive vigil, and listened to the lessons over, and over again.

Finally, the man finished and walked out of the room. Jonathan entered and informed Henry that it was lunch time. “C’mon,” he invited. “I’ll buy you lunch.” No one had ever bought Henry lunch before, so he gleefully accepted. They walked out to the parking lot and got into Jonathan’s car. It was a sporty two seater convertible. Jonathan had no problem squealing the tires as they pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main strip. They went to an upscale Mexican restaurant Henry had seen, but never been to. It always seemed too expensive and not worth the trouble. “Of course,” Jonathan, “With all the money you’re gonna be making as of today, you’re gonna be the one buying lunch going forward.”

Henry laughed. “If the money’s so good,” he asked. “Why aren’t you doing it?”

“I wish,” Jonathan answered. “I’ve got a girlfriend though. They won’t let me.” He rolled his eyes as he said ‘they’. Then he looked at Henry. “Besides, I’m not you. You’re the man they want. Before I forget, remind me to ask Mona to make sure we have your badge recoded so that you can get into the labs and not just accounting.” Henry nodded.

Lunch was delicious. It was the best Henry could remember having. An hour later they found themselves back on the road to the company. Jonathan took the exit ramps faster than he could have, just for fun. “I hope you don’t mind too much,” he stated to Henry.

“Not at all!” Henry laughed. “The weathergirl did say it would be a great day to have fun outside.”

Back at the office, they discovered that Mona had already taken care of the badge issue. Jonathan turned to Henry. “Alright Henry,” he said. “Head on back to your other job for today. We’ll start things up fresh tomorrow morning. You’ll meet a couple of technicians over by lab 7.” Jonathan pointed to a particular hallway. “They’ll take care of you once you get here. See you tomorrow Henry. That’s when we start changing the world!”

Henry walked back to his cubicle in an almost daze. As he sat down, Jonah walked over. “Hey Henry,” he smiled. “People were getting worried when you didn’t come back. Everything alright?”

Henry smiled. “Better than alright,” he answered. “But that’s about all I can say on the matter.

Jonah smiled. “I see, so there’s a bit of a mystery then?” He paused to see if Henry would rise to the bait, but Henry held his ground. “Alright then, I guess I’ll have to do some sleuthing of my own.”

That night, Henry saw in his mail an offer to come back and try an online dating service again. He dropped it smugly in the trash, and sat down on his couch to watch the evening news and eat the lunch he’d brought into work.

The Company Man, part 6

“One of the problems with natural selection,” Jonathan explained. “Is that it takes too long. You require multiple generations to weed out undesirable traits. Couple that with the fact that we now prop up people with those undesirable traits, allow them to procreate, and suddenly evolution doesn’t work anymore. Do you follow me?”

Henry nodded, though he didn’t really.

Jonathan continued. “Besides, what do we need evolution for when we’re smart enough to figure out for ourselves which parts are the good parts, and which ones are the parts we need to get rid of?” Jonathan stood and moved over to a small dry erase board. “Figuring out that part is pretty easy. But to make those traits predominate within a particular generation, we need to become a little unorthodox.” On the board he drew a stick figure, two lines below it, two more stick figures, two more lines below each of them, and four more stick figures. “Average family has two kids, so you need two generations for a positive trait to go from one to four, and that’s assuming the positive trait gets passed to each kid. Nowadays, it’s anyone’s guess, and the kids will go one to have kids of their own whether they get the good genes or not. No, what we need is more of a shotgun approach to ensure wide dissemination of those genes to the general population.” He went back tot he first stick figure, drew a right arrow, and drew a dozen stick figures next to the first. Jonathan turned and started hard at Henry. “Do you follow me?” he asked.

Henry nodded, even though he didn’t.

Jonathan smiled. “I knew you were the right man for this job!” he proclaimed. He opened the door and stuck his head out. “Mona!” he yelled. “Get Lenny over here with the papers. We’ve got our man!” The frazzled woman nodded and headed deeper into the office of cubicles. Jonathan shut the door again and sat down. “Now you’ll still be able to do your regular job,” he explained, but only half time. The other half of the day you’ll have to spend with us while we run tests and diagnostics. I’ve already conversed with your boss.. Arnold? I think? Whatever- over email and he’s okay with it. We’ll get a temp in to help you out with your normal work so there’s no risk of falling behind.”

Henry smiled. He started to say something, but Jonathan interrupted him to continue. “Now I know what you’re thinking. Such an important job should have something more than prestige attached to it, am I right?” Henry nodded, though he’d not been thinking about that at all. “I’ve managed to pull a few strings, and you’re base salary will get bumped up $10K annually, effective immediately.” Henry froze. He’d never gotten a raise that big before. He’d never even imagined such raises were possible. Jonathan watched his expression for a moment. “You’re awful quiet, Henry. Are you saying $10K doesn’t sound like enough? I happen to think that’s a pretty good sum myself. I get Ph.D’s in here bargaining for a raise one-tenth that amount.”

“That amount is perfectly fine,” Henry stammered, still trying to recover from the shock of such a huge pay raise.

“Glad to hear it!” Jonathan exclaimed. The door opened and a man with a thick stack of papers came in. “Ahh Lenny! I see you’ve got everything our new prized employee needs. This is my queue to leave. Paperwork puts me to sleep. Henry, I leave you in Lenny’s capable hands.” With that, Jonathan stood and slipped past Lenny who dropped the stack of documents with a resounding thud.

“Nice to meet you Henry,” Lenny stated with a dull monotone. “Sign here please.”

Henry took the first sheet and pen and started to read it over.

“Now sign here please,” Lenny continued, passing the next page without looking up.

Henry quickly scribbled a signature on the first page and Lenny flipped through a non-disclosure to the signature page. He handed the entire package to Henry with the one page needing a signature pulled out. Henry furiously scribbled his name on the second sheet and grabbed the packet, signing his name without even glancing at the title. Lenny handed him a fourth page.

For the next twenty minutes, Henry and Lenny churned through waiver after disclaimer after contract after agreement. Whenever Henry asked a question, Lenny did not respond but handed him yet another sheet to sign. Lenny had deep bags under his eyes, suggesting he’d not slept well, or at all, in quite some time. Henry decided not to bother him with more questions after the first few failed attempts.

The Company Man, part 5

The R&D labs, much to Henry’s surprise, looked a lot like the accounting department. There were no chemistry sets with strange liquids bubbling in them. For the most part, there were lots of cubicles with people in them and computers. The walls might even have the same color paint, but it was hard to tell as a lot of the lights were turned off. Many engineers prefer the dark for some reason. All of the PC’s looked like they were running screen savers, but has Henry got closer, he saw that they were actually running simulations. They were modeling different proteins on the screen, spinning and twisting them, trying to see how they could be tweaked and changed. A woman with a very tired look and frazzled hair came over to him.

“Are you Henry?” she asked with an exasperated tone.

“Y-yes,” Henry answered. He did not expect anyone to be expecting him, even though it made sense.

“Head over to the third office on your left and have a seat,” she directed. “One of our team leads will be there in a few minutes once their meeting breaks up.”

Henry walked over to the small conference room and sat down. The chairs were not comfortable. He wished he’d brought his chair from his cubicle. He’d bought it with his own money and brought it in, because the chairs the company provided never felt very good. He’d seen an article for it in the breakroom one day. Someone had left a magazine and called it, “The Executive.” When he sat in it, it was easy to picture himself as though he were an executive. Everyone else had to settle for the normal chair, but he got The Executive.

According to the clock, Henry had to wait for a full 10 minutes for the director’s meeting to finish up. It took several more minutes for the director that wanted to speak with him to finish up another conversation that followed him out the room. Finally, he came in, sat down, and closed the door.

“Hello Henry,” the director said with a smile. “My name is Jonathan. Pleased to meet you.”

Henry wanted to say something about being made to wait, but instead smiled back. “And nice to meet you,” he returned.

Jonathan reached into his satchel and pulled out a file. To Henry’s surprise, his name was on it. “We’re starting the next phase of a project Henry,” Jonathan began. “And after extensive review of every employee in the company, have decided that we want you to be a part of it.”

Henry was shocked, and his face betrayed that surprise. Jonathan smiled. “I hope you don’t mind,” he continued. “I took the liberty of pulling your performance reviews. They’re spotless. You really are a company man!”

Henry could not help but smile.

“It says here that you aren’t married?” Jonathan asked.

“No sir,” Henry replied. “Never met that special someone.”

“Are you still looking?” Jonathan continued. He did not look up anymore, but continued to flip through the pages quickly.

“Not recently,” Henry confessed. It seemed an odd question.

“We wanted to be sure that you would be able to fully commit to this project,” Jonathan explained. “Also, and I’m going to mention this over and over again, this project is extremely confidential. One of the problems with married men, is that they have a hard time keeping secrets from their wives. It’s even harder when they’re dating.”

Henry felt his pace quicken. "A secret project!” he thought. “He was going to work on a secret project!” He shook his head. “Haven’t really looked in a while sir,” Henry reaffirmed.

Jonathan smiled more broadly. “This project is going to change the world,” he proclaimed. “We’ll go down in history as having done something no one has accomplished before. And, well, it’ll probably make us all rich!” Jonathan leaned back in his chair. He looked like he should be wearing a pinstripe suit and holding a cigar, but the effect was lost as the light struck the bald spot on his head, causing Henry to squint. “So,” he continued. “Do I have your interest?”

Henry nodded vigorously. “Please go on.”

“Good,” Jonathan smiled.

The Company Man, part 4

Finding the research and development part of the building turned out to be  quite difficult. Henry had never ventured much into the southern portion of the building. Before working in the accounting department, Henry had originally worked in inventory, which looked very different now, but he at least had a sense of where he was as he made his way past that department.

At the far end of inventory, a guard stopped him. “Should you really be back here?” he asked. Everyone’s badge at Previx listed their name, department and was striped with a color the corresponded to the department. Accounting and Sales had  yellow stripe. Inventory was green. Human Resources was blue, and R&D had a dark red stripe. Henry began to sweat a little bit from nervousness.

“W-well, I was asked to go to R&D-,” he started to explain, but the guard simply leaned back and gestured with his thumb.

“Keep moving,” the guard grunted.

Henry frowned. The guard was not a very good guard it seemed. He didn’t even try to validate his presence in the hallway. Henry hoped that the security system would be up and running again soon, and that they’d be able to get rid of the guards. He continued down a long hallway, moving deeper into the building.

It made sense to Henry that R&D be kept far from the front entrance. Technicians and Scientists did not often put their best face forward to potential customers and clients. When they came, they wanted to see a professional environment, which is something he and the others in the account department worked hard to portray. Customers did not often tour the accounting department, but when they did, Henry knew they were impressed by what they saw.

R&D, on the other hand, must look like and absolute wreck. Probably lots of people in lab coats around chemistry experiments with messy chalkboards that haven’t been cleaned in ages….

He arrived at the entrance to R&D and this time met a much more formidable guard. He actually carried a sidearm, but it was clipped to his belt. In his hand he held a  clipboard. The guard glanced at Henry’s badge.

“Should you really be back here?” he asked, same as the previous one. Henry, much to his own frustration, began to sweat nervously again. “W-well,” he stammered, “I was asked to come back here and meet with a couple of technicians.”

“What were their names?” the guard asked, without looking up from the clipboard.

Henry froze. He didn’t know. Jonah had not told him any names. His nervous mind began to race. “Had Jonah played a trick on him?” he wondered. “No. No, Jonah was too nice of a guy to do that. There probably were a couple of technicians, and they were the ones playing the trick. They’d tricked him into wandering the halls for half the morning to try and find the R&D labs, only to be stopped by a guard and shamed back to his cubicle. Everyone would have a great laugh at his expense…”

“Oh here it is!” the guard exclaimed loudly, snapping Henry out of his panic and causing him to jump a little. “Some moron wrote it on the back of the sheet. Sorry about that. Go on in.” The guard stepped to one side and pushed open the door.

Henry hesitated, still not sure if this were a prank or not, but he did not want to press his luck with the guard, and so stepped through.

The Company Man, part 3

The accounting department had peach colored walls with white square columns occasionally breaking up the straight edges made by the drywall. These cut into some of the cubicles making them a a little smaller. Henry always considered himself lucky to have not gotten one of those. The people that did never complained, but Henry secretly suspected they wished for more space.

The cubicles were about half a man’s height, so you could sit down and concentrate, but stand up and see who else was in the office. That made tracking everyone else down a lot easier. The only office belonged to Arnold, at the far end.

“Good morning Henry!” Jonah called to him. Henry nodded politely. He liked Jonah. Jonah was a young, upbeat guy who befriended everyone he met. It was hard not to like Jonah. In fact, Henry could not think of anyone in the company that had met and did not like Jonah. He had that infectious laugh and smile that made everyone feel better.

As Henry sat down and started up his computer, Jonah walked over to him.

“Hey, listen,” Jonah started. “Some techs from research were down here just a few minutes ago looking for you.”

Henry rolled his eyes. “They must be new,” he muttered. “They sometimes think that if they come talk to me, it’ll somehow speed up getting their purchase orders, when really it just slows me down.”

Jonah shook his head. “They didn’t mention any purchase orders,” he explained. “They said they needed to talk to you about some upcoming project and asked me to ask you to head over to R&D as soon as you got in.”

Henry wrinkled his nose. He’d never been to the R&D department before. He wasn’t even sure where that was. Plus, he had a lot of work to do that day already. He didn’t want to fall behind. What would his boss think? “Did they clear it with Arnold?” Henry asked.

Jonah shrugged his shoulders. “They didn’t say, and Arnold’s out this week on vacation.”

Henry’s face soured. He didn’t like the idea of R&D pulling him away from his job to help them with theirs and risk getting in trouble with his boss. “This had better be important,” Henry grumbled. With a heavy sigh, he stood and began navigating his way back to the front desk.

The Company Man, Part 2

As Henry pulled into his normal parking space, he paused long enough to look at the new construction behind the main building. It was a brand new research institution, complete with some sort of dormitory. He knew because he’d seen them building small rooms, each with a bathroom, and had helped to process the order for all of the bedding and pillows that they needed for the rooms. It was obvious they were kicking off a brand new initiative, and was confident they’d tell him during the next company meeting, which was scheduled to take place in about three weeks.

Reaching into his wallet, he unclipped his ID badge from the fold and clipped it to his shirt. Hitting the remote lock on his keyfob, listening to the satisfying click of the locks as well as the brief shriek of the horn, he strode confidently to the front door, and held his badge over the security RFID reader, and waited for the beep.

But it did not beep.

Henry glanced done, surprised. He looked at the badget to make sure he wasn’t using his Costco membership card again. No, it was definitely his company issued Previx badge.

For a moment he panicked. He’d been fired! They forgot to tell him and now he no longer had a job! Everyone is up on the third floor right now looking down and laughing their heads off at him for standing there like an idiot in front of the company he no longer worked for!

The receptionist caught his attention and made pushing motion with her hands. He leaned against the door, and to his surprise it opened.

“They’re updating the security system,” she explained with a heavy Boston accent. Henry cringed a bit to listen to her. “Right now nobody’s badge is working. We had to prop open most of the doors so people can still get through, and they posted security guards near all the important areas.” She gestured to the door to his right, which is the door he normally went through after entering the building. “Now go on Henry from accounting,” she said with a smile. “No time to dawdle.”

Henry was surprised that she knew his name, but then glanced down and remembered it was printed on his badge that he’d instinctively re-clipped to his shirt. Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, he stepped into the elevator, road it to the third floor, and walked to his cubicle.

The Company Man, Part 1

Henry awoke to the sound of a babbling brook. It was his alarm clock. He bought it from a SkyMall catalog a few years ago while flying back from visiting his mother one Christmas. He never really cared for it after it arrived, but was determined to make good use of it because of how much it cost, and how much grief he’d been given when trying to return it. So, even though it made him wake up with an almost desperate need to go to the bathroom, he kept using it, waiting for the day that it might break, and he could get a different one.

Twenty minutes later, he was showered and eating breakfast. He ate  wheat flakes, because the doctors on TV said that it would lower his cholesterol. His doctor had never told him to worry about his cholesterol, which he assumed was because he ate wheat flakes. The TV was turned on to the weather channel.

“Today calls for lots of sun,” the cute weathergirl smiled cheerfully. “Be sure to break out the hat and sunscreen, and get out there and have a great time!”

Henry glanced over to make sure his hat was where he’d left it on the coat rack. He’d wear it on the drive in to work, but did not feel the need for sun screen. He’d be in the office all day. Perhaps he’d eat his lunch outside, but likely all of the picnic tables would be taken by the time he got out there, and he’d have to go back inside and eat at his desk like usual.

After breakfast, he put his dishes in the dishwasher, donned his cap, and headed out to the car. Five minutes later, he sat in bumper to bumper traffic for the forty five minute commute into work.

Work was Previx, a biotechnology firm that specialized in cell regeneration technologies. At least, that’s what Henry read in the press releases the company periodically sent out. He worked in the finance department processing purchase requests and ensuring that nobody tried to use company funds on personal needs. He’d once caught a department head trying to buy nerf guns for all of his researchers. A few emails later, the department head was informed by no one short of the VP of research that he should stick to essential supplies on his purchase requests. The VP did not thank Henry in the email, but he knew that the VP knew that he’d caught it, and was thankful deep down.

Henry was a good employee.

His review each year told him so. The accounting head was always pleased with Henry’s performance. He was always at work early, often stayed late, was willing to work weekends, even ended up losing a couple of days of vacation each year because he did not take all of his days. This earned him a solid 3-4% merit raise each and every year, even in the down times when company profits were down.  Henry could be counted on. He was trustworthy, reliable, and dependable.