Funny story

In an effort to come to terms with my being an 'adult', I've attempted to take a more handyman role. I've got a background basic tools, internet access, and enough small problems around me that I often feel up to the task of at least one thing. I also have the advantage of renting at the moment, so serious issues that might arise can be dealt with by calling in the landlord. Admittedly he can take a while to get back to you, but that's an 'adult' risk right?
My first task involved replacing a classic mercury based thermostat with an electronic one where you can preprogram in temperatures for different days and times. This was a complete success.
Next, I replaced the faucet in the sink as one of the handles had gotten broken off. This, also, was a complete success.
By this point I'd begun to ride high on these successes. Perhaps I am an adult after all.
Then came the shower.
Our shower has two problems with it. 1) The hot and cold on the single dial are reversed, so hot water comes out first instead of cold, contrary to both the label and showers in general and 2) it occasionally has a slow leak. We don't pay for our water, so a slow leak wouldn't bother me except for the fact that we do pay to heat the water. Each drip felt like a penny falling down the drain.
At one point my in-laws come for a visit. We, of course, warn them about the shower so they don't have to experience quite the learning curve we did. Towards the end of the trip, my father in-law points out that fixing a problem like this is often quite easy. One can remove the handle with a single screw, and hidden behind it is a dial one turns 180 degrees to reverse the hot and cold feeds, restoring it to the way it should be. This sounds simple enough, so I took it under advisement.
About 3 weeks later, I actually found myself bored in the apartment. My wife was at her Spanish class and I began to hear the dripping again. Thus began my attempt at a hat trick.
The handle came off easily enough, but the dial was not to be found. So, I naturally venture online for some guidance. Sure enough, a handyman site comments that sometimes these showers have a second cap with a little screw between you and the dial, after the handle comes off. With that knowledge in hand, I return to my task, neglecting to notice that I'm on page 2 of the instructions.
Page 1 mentions the importance of first turning off the water.
As I begin to remove the screw, a small trickle of water beads down my hand. I think nothing of it, rationalizing that maybe some water was stuck in pipe between the tub faucet and shower head. Continuing to untwist the screw the water continues to trickle out, but it's so small it's hardly noticeable.
Then I get the screw out.

boom.


Within about a tenth of a second I am completely soaked. The blast of the water has nearly knocked me over and I quickly jump out of the tub. This now geyser of fluid is ejecting what seems like a shower's worth of water 4 times a second, and all through that tiny hole. What's more, it's not spraying it into the tub. We have a fiberglass shower stall with a curved back. The water is hitting that back, slaloming out of the shower, down the bathroom door and onto the floor.
I'll admit, I was a little awed by the sheer volume of water that could be pumped through such a tiny hole. I was tempted to ponder the philosophical meaning of such a thing, but this was no metaphor, and I had to get the damn screw back into it's little hole. Alas, the force of the water made that rather difficult. Plus, if you will recall, it defaults to hot water.
Several moments later, after a multitude of burns and a complete lack of success trying to re-block the water with my little screw, I opt for a new tack. Mostly I adjust the shower curtains to stop the water from shooting out of the tub and throw down all the towels to soak up what water that has begun to pool there. I then sit down for a moment to clear my head and consider my options.
At this point, I've got about 20 minutes before my wife gets back from class and has a bit of a nervous attack, mostly directed at me, for doing something so stupid. I could try to call the landlord, but it'd take me at least 20 minutes to find his number, assuming he'll answer, and assuming he'll get over here, it's safe to say that option will result in several hours of waiting, which would probably drain several great lakes through this tiny hole.
Finally, it dawns on me that I can, if nothing else, use the original handle to twist the water flow over from hot to cold. That way, while I'm still fighting the pressure to get the screw in, at least I'm not scalding myself.
4 tries later and some more swearing, I'm able to twist the knob. This does two wonderful things 1) The water does indeed go from hot to cold and 2) water now flows out the tub faucet. Suddenly the flow out the tiny hole drops to nothing. I race to put the screw back in and reassemble the entire fixture. I then mop up what water remains on the floor and gather up the soaked towels. This done, I collapse into my chair as I hear the front door open. The wife comes in to see me completely exhausted and soaked.
We've opted to live with our hot and cold being reversed. We're moving soon anyway.