Lessons in parenting

Which do you think is harder? Feeding a 7 month old, or docking to the international space station?

You can already guess where I’m going with this, but lets lay out some of the difficulties for each, shall we?

When docking to the ISS, the space shuttle moves to within 50 meters of the station, stops, waits for confirmation, then approaches at a speed of .05 m/s until it gets to within 9 meters of the station, stops again, waits for confirmation, and carefully lines up with a black docking target 30 cm above the docking port. Pilot and copilot have to control 6 degrees of freedom to ensure that the shuttle is aligned perfectly so that the two systems slip and hook together for a proper seal.

An exercise that Nasa recommends for young children to learn and appreciate the complexities of the motion is to tie a string between two kids. In the middle of the string, hang a small weight. Next, place a cup on the floor and instruct the kids to insert the small weight into the cup without using their hands. For added difficulty, blindfold the kids and have them do it listening to instructions from someone else.

In other words, it’s a pretty tricky exercise, and one that you really don’t want to mess up. But, now let’s consider some of the things that make it less difficult.

A couple of things that you have going for you are the masses oaf the shuttle and space station. They’re both really big and have an enormous amount of momentum. The forces the pilot is applying with the navigation thrusters is miniscule in comparison, so you aren’t moving in large steps. The docking area is clear of other modules, to minimize the risk of a collision. There is no gravity, so you aren’t at risk of your cargo spilling if you need to roll over to get a good seal. And finally, you only have to dock once.

Compare this to feeding a seven month old. You still have to control six degrees of freedom, but percentage-wise you are moving a much greater distance, and a lot faster. The dock is prone to sudden, unexpected movements when it gets distracted, occasionally turning away just as the spoon is entering. There are also two appendages that often flail about in the approach path, risking collision with every approach. You do have to deal with gravity, limiting your approach options lest you spill your cargo all over the station, yourself, or the floor. Neither you or the station are very heavy, so you really have to police how much energy you expend. And finally, you have to repeat this procedure many, many times.

It may not come with bragging rights, but there’s not a single mealtime I don’t walk away from feeling like I couldn’t handle being an astronaut.

The Alex and Amelia mysteries

The case of the mystery flap

Alex is nearly four years old. He’s no fool. He’s seen it all. But this? This is different.

In the door to the basement, there is a small plastic flap. Whenever Alex is trying to make friends with one of the cats, they would disappear downstairs. Finally, he figured they were disappearing through the flap in the door.

He’d heard his parents mention a ‘cat door’ before, but this did not look like any door. There was no handle, there was no light switch next to it, and it hinged on the top instead of the side.

Alex went to consult with his associate and little sister Amelia, but Amelia was busy with a mystery of her own. Namely, why she could not fit the entire plastic toy phone inside her mouth. Alex tried a few helpful suggestions, like taking the toy away entirely, but none seemed to help. On his own, Alex decided that the only way to understand the nature of the flap was to figure out what would fit through it.

Two hours later, having exhausted his supply of toys, towels, tissue boxes, remote controls, pieces of computer hardware, clothes and drinking cups, Alex found himself only certain that large blankets would definitely not fit through the flap. He retreated to the living room to think.

A short while later, daddy reported to mommy that the door to the basement could not be opened. Apparently, it had been barricaded.

Alex suspected the flap had something to do with this, but wasn’t sure. As soon as daddy retrieved all of his toys though, he’d try again!

Case: UNSOLVED.

The Alex and Amelia mysteries

The case of the strange cup

Alex and Amelia were playing in the backyard, enjoying the first warm day of spring after a long, cold winter. Amelia, only 8 months old, was too young to even remember when days were warm. She was also too young to walk, so had to be carried everywhere by her daddy. She was fine with this.

Alex, on the other hand, relished the opportunity to run around and play on his swing set. It was a simple affair with three swings, rings, and a slide. He was too short for the rings, but would play with each swing in turn before finishing his playtime with a few zips down the slide.

Today, however, was different. Alex noticed after getting off the first swing that there was a cup sitting on the second swing. It looked just like the cup he had been eating goldfish out of earlier, but he did not remember placing the cup there. Immediately, Alex moved in to investigate. Amelia, who had all this time been watching her brother, spurred on her daddy to come over and join in the investigation.

Together, the two of them peered at the cup. It did look like the cup Alex used to eat his goldfish crackers. In fact, it had goldfish crackers in it, but neither one could figure out how it ended up on the swing.

Suddenly, daddy wrinkled his nose and announced that Alex needed a diaper change. He gather the two of them up and began to herd them back to the house. Alex looked back to the swing, but saw that the cup had disappeared.

Later, after the diaper change, Alex’s daddy gave him his cup of goldfish. Alex wondered if the two cups had anything to do with each other, but could not be certain.

Case: UNSOLVED!